Living the dream
July 14: Looked at a house and land in the mountains. The cool air is refreshing compared to the heat in the city. House is in good shape for being 20 years old.
July 18: Signed the contract on our new home in the mountains. Wife and kids are excited and there is plenty of open space for them to explore.
July 20: Went to check out our new potential home. The previous owner was so thoughtful and left us a shed full of wood. A fine yellow dust covered the deck. The realtor said it was some kind of pollen, not to worry, it will go away soon.
August 10: Closed on the house today and everything is packed in the rental truck. Tomorrow we start a new adventure in our dream home.
August 11: Took us all day and most of the night to unpack the truck. I took a lot of breaks, wife says I’m out of shape, but I think it’s the thin air, it’s okay, we’ll get used to it.
Sept 16: Been in our new home over a month and the leaves are changing. Color is everywhere. Kids like the bus ride to school. Nights are starting to cool down I might have to start the furnace soon. Getting comfortable with the drive down the canyon to work. The other drivers go quite fast but I don’t mind, I just pull over and let them pass.
Sept 20: The first snow fall. Wife and I had a cup of tea and enjoyed the peaceful setting by the wood stove. The snow plow came by and left a ridge of snow at the end of the driveway. Found a snow shovel in the shed, so I cleared the ridge so I can get to work tomorrow.
Sept 21: Slid on the ice into a guardrail. Tore off the bumper and smashed the fender. I was little late for work. I need to get some snow tires.
Nov 10: Snowed about 6 inches and again the plow left a berm at the end of the driveway, but I don’t mind, I have a snow blower now.
Nov 12: This morning I had to scrape an inch of ice off of the windshield. Boss warned me about being late. I’ll have to get up earlier.
Dec 10: Got 10 inches of snow and its 25 degrees. My wife called and the furnace doesn’t work. Repairman says it will be two days before get up to take a look at it.
Dec 12: Repairman came up and reset the breaker to the furnace. Cost me $150, he said something about minimum call fee. I think he’s delirious.
Dec 20: Another snow and now the wind. Knocked the power out and blew a tree across the driveway. I was late for work Boss is really P#%ssed.
Dec 26: Worst Christmas ever! Nearly choked some smart cuss at the gas station that asked, “Cold enough for ya?”
Jan 4: Wind is still blowing, have to clear snow drifts out of the driveway every night after work and again I’m late for work.
Jan 30: Will this damn wind ever quit! The house shakes every time a big gust hits. Wife, kids and dog are terrified the house is going to collapse.
Feb 3: Wind finally quit and now the temperature is -12. For some reason the water stopped running from the kitchen faucet. We’ll have to wash dishes in the bathtub in the meantime.
Feb 9: It finally warmed up to 38 degrees and we went to town. When we got home, the place was flooded and water was flowing from the kitchen cabinet. Had to turn the water off and the plumber can’t get up for at least two days.
Feb 13: Snow again! Late for work, got fired, and the wind’s blowing again! Hot-wired the neighbor’s plow truck so I could knock down “Mt. Gilpin” at the end of the driveway.
Mar 4: Wind blew the fence down, dog ran away. Power is out again. Wife took the kids and left – said something about they can’t live in the mountains anymore. I think they’re all delirious.
Mar 9: Haven’t had a shower in a month. Trash piling up, car won’t start. Don’t even hear the wind anymore. Food is gone.
Mar 20: The dog came back. I got a seed catalog in the mail. Uncontrolled laughter erupted, because this is the first sign of spring!
April 2: Days are getting warmer now and the snow is melting. I can see rocks poking out of the snow. Icicles fell off the gutter and poked holes in the hot-tub cover. Need to call the real-estate agent and sell this place.
April 5: Can’t get the “For Sale” up because the cussing ground is still as hard as cured cement, stuck it in the snow bank by the road for now.
April 12: What is up with all this mud? Car is brown, can’t see out of any of the windows, drove it into a ditch, cost $250 to get it out. For Sale sign blew away, found it in the neighbor’s woods.
April 26: Bear got into the car, tore the cuss out of everything and ate my seat covers. Insurance man says it’s totaled, I think he’s delirious.
May 1: Woke up to a banging noise in the house. A desperate woodpecker has decided to use my siding as a drum to attract girl woodpeckers.
May 10: Real estate agent called says he wants to show the house to some buyers. I have to get rid of that noisy woodpecker, take the trash to the dump, and hide the car in the woods.
June 2: Closed on the house today. The new buyers are excited to move in to their new “dream” home. They said something about longing for the mountain life. I think they’re delirious.
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